Let's start a metal band and call it Brutal Souza.
Our first album can be called Marching Orders.
5.31.2010
I demand more customization.
Someone needs to start a company that makes all-white (or, eventually, maybe, pastels) appliances. All the important information (like the names of the buttons on the blenders) would be on those stickers that say 10:10 on new digital clocks, so the consumer can peel them off. The same company would have to sell a variety of paint markers in colors and sizes, and people would decorate all their own appliances.
5.30.2010
Why am I not yet a college professor?
Selections from my course catalogue:
The Culture of Garfield.
A study of both: the representations of Garfield presented by Paws, Inc. and Jim Davis, including the comics, the cartoon, the recent films, and the merchandise; and the representations put forward by other artists, such as Garfield Without Garfield, the Garfield Randomizer, and various mashups that have been made with Garfield and Wolverine, or Garfield and He-Man.
Symbols and Abstractions.
We will look into the use of iconography in our culture, particularly in business and advertising. We will also consider the creation of our written language and discuss letters as abstractions rather than constructs (as provided by a font)*.
*When we learn initially, we often try to get the whole concept as quickly as possible and skip past the phase wherein we appreciate the abstract qualities of language.
The Culture of Garfield.
A study of both: the representations of Garfield presented by Paws, Inc. and Jim Davis, including the comics, the cartoon, the recent films, and the merchandise; and the representations put forward by other artists, such as Garfield Without Garfield, the Garfield Randomizer, and various mashups that have been made with Garfield and Wolverine, or Garfield and He-Man.
Symbols and Abstractions.
We will look into the use of iconography in our culture, particularly in business and advertising. We will also consider the creation of our written language and discuss letters as abstractions rather than constructs (as provided by a font)*.
*When we learn initially, we often try to get the whole concept as quickly as possible and skip past the phase wherein we appreciate the abstract qualities of language.
5.19.2010
Sometimes, and please do not ask me why.
Sometimes.
And please do not ask me why.
(I am not sure I even know.)
I miss being lonely.
And please do not ask me why.
(I am not sure I even know.)
I miss being lonely.
5.13.2010
Double features in which an actor could be playing the same character.
Double Feature: Rushmore, I Heart Huckabees
Actor who could be playing the same character: Jason Schwartzman
How much I would enjoy watching this: About seventy-five percent. One hundred percent at first, and fifty later.
Double Feature: Anatomy of a Murder, Road House
Actor who could be playing the same character: Ben Gazzara
How much I would enjoy watching this: So, so much.
Actor who could be playing the same character: Jason Schwartzman
How much I would enjoy watching this: About seventy-five percent. One hundred percent at first, and fifty later.
Double Feature: Anatomy of a Murder, Road House
Actor who could be playing the same character: Ben Gazzara
How much I would enjoy watching this: So, so much.
4.29.2010
3.16.2010
3.01.2010
Time Manifesto
I will live eternal. To me, there will be no end. My approach to ensure this will be: I will create. I will not slow down. I will drop out of the flow of time. I will dream.
I will create art and rhetoric and friendships. I will create goodwill. I will create memories in those around me and artifacts in the world around me. These things will endure. I will place my print, cast my shadow on the consciousness of culture (of the world itself).
I will not live fast and die young; I will live fast and never die. The more perpetual my motion, the faster the speed I can maintain – the more slowly time will flow for me, the longer my relative time on earth.
I will, as often as possible, drop out of the flow of time. Whenever I can work hard enough or play hard enough or love hard enough to step out of the timeline to which more mundane practices are confined, I will do so with all of my being. Every instance, every moment of this, provides me with a new eternity in which to dwell.
Finally, I will dream as often and as richly as I am capable, because it is through dreaming that I can accomplish the tasks I have laid out for myself. It is dreaming alone that will allow me eternal life.
I will create art and rhetoric and friendships. I will create goodwill. I will create memories in those around me and artifacts in the world around me. These things will endure. I will place my print, cast my shadow on the consciousness of culture (of the world itself).
I will not live fast and die young; I will live fast and never die. The more perpetual my motion, the faster the speed I can maintain – the more slowly time will flow for me, the longer my relative time on earth.
I will, as often as possible, drop out of the flow of time. Whenever I can work hard enough or play hard enough or love hard enough to step out of the timeline to which more mundane practices are confined, I will do so with all of my being. Every instance, every moment of this, provides me with a new eternity in which to dwell.
Finally, I will dream as often and as richly as I am capable, because it is through dreaming that I can accomplish the tasks I have laid out for myself. It is dreaming alone that will allow me eternal life.
2.14.2010
1.20.2010
the solution to a culinary issue that arose in a dream i had last night
Graham cracker falafel with tahini-style peanut butter sauce.
1.15.2010
1.01.2010
12.23.2009
12.10.2009
Oh, medical humor.
1: So, what branch of medicine are you involved in?
2: I'm an oncologist.
1: Oh, tumors and stuff, huh?
2: No, I work in an ER, it just seems like I spend my life ON CALL.
2: I'm an oncologist.
1: Oh, tumors and stuff, huh?
2: No, I work in an ER, it just seems like I spend my life ON CALL.
12.09.2009
12.04.2009
Thresholds.
Meeting a celebrity is exciting.
Lower your concept of celebrity and meeting people can be exciting, too.
Lower your concept of celebrity and meeting people can be exciting, too.
11.24.2009
11.18.2009
Tubach
Someone should get on this:
Write all tuba arrangements of some Bach pieces (might I recommend quartets as a place to start), get them recorded, and then remix the result with all Tupac vocals and some beats. Gold. It's all gold.
Write all tuba arrangements of some Bach pieces (might I recommend quartets as a place to start), get them recorded, and then remix the result with all Tupac vocals and some beats. Gold. It's all gold.
11.11.2009
sad family issues vs. all-out rumpus
The Hollywood film industry is like a friend of your dad's who seemed super awesome when you were growing up, but that you're old enough to really understand people you can see that he's a misinformed lecherous mess and you don't really want to deal with him most of the time, but also sometimes when he comes to Thanksgiving he gets drunk and hits on your aunt and then punches a cousin and passes out in gravy and that can be (though it doesn't have to be) pretty funny.
Right now we're having a feud, the film industry and I, where it has decided to go through my childhood and ruin everything I loved, one by one. A few examples: Transformers, Indiana Jones, Willy Wonka, Rocky and Bullwinkle, GI Joe, and the Wild Things.
It is my hope that perhaps we can push this trend to the extreme and start making things that are clearly based on my (and our collective) beloved childhood, but are not even a little bit trying to recapture it. Let's own that we're ruining things and push it as far as we can. Here then is my pitch for the next film I would like to see come out of this:
Gummi Bears: the (live action) Movie
The gummi bears should be portrayed by people in foam suits, a la Teletubbies, but with the actors' faces uncovered. All sets should be scaled up to make these people look small, and anyone portraying a person should be green-screened in to seem huge. The ogres should be a muppet/cgi combo.
The plot will focus around Duke Igthorn trying to become invincible and immortal and it should include the Barbic Gummis, Lady Bane, and a wizard. Things should blow up, and there should be battles that feel like they belong in the Lord of the Rings. Also Cavin should come of age. There should be some really uncomfortable sexual tension.
Cast -
Cavin: Michael Cera
Igthorn: Christopher Guest
Gruffi: Dean Stockwell
Zummi: Dustin Hoffman
Grammi: Kathy Bates
Tummi: Zach Galifianakis
Sunni: Ellen Page
Cubbi: Emile Hirsch
Right now we're having a feud, the film industry and I, where it has decided to go through my childhood and ruin everything I loved, one by one. A few examples: Transformers, Indiana Jones, Willy Wonka, Rocky and Bullwinkle, GI Joe, and the Wild Things.
It is my hope that perhaps we can push this trend to the extreme and start making things that are clearly based on my (and our collective) beloved childhood, but are not even a little bit trying to recapture it. Let's own that we're ruining things and push it as far as we can. Here then is my pitch for the next film I would like to see come out of this:
Gummi Bears: the (live action) Movie
The gummi bears should be portrayed by people in foam suits, a la Teletubbies, but with the actors' faces uncovered. All sets should be scaled up to make these people look small, and anyone portraying a person should be green-screened in to seem huge. The ogres should be a muppet/cgi combo.
The plot will focus around Duke Igthorn trying to become invincible and immortal and it should include the Barbic Gummis, Lady Bane, and a wizard. Things should blow up, and there should be battles that feel like they belong in the Lord of the Rings. Also Cavin should come of age. There should be some really uncomfortable sexual tension.
Cast -
Cavin: Michael Cera
Igthorn: Christopher Guest
Gruffi: Dean Stockwell
Zummi: Dustin Hoffman
Grammi: Kathy Bates
Tummi: Zach Galifianakis
Sunni: Ellen Page
Cubbi: Emile Hirsch
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