But I don't know why.

So you rent a tall danceclub and mount a high quality camera on the ceiling facing down. As the people roll in you give them hats with qr codes or something on top. You can then use a computer to track and analyze the migration patterns of the party.

There is only one time.

Let's start a company that makes watches that don't have any hands and just say "Now." on the face.

Digital ones would be pretty easy, too.

Necessary business idea.

Someone needs to start an internet business that will delete all of your social networking profiles when you die.

I want all of the internets.

So I am sitting in my friend's condo, and she has a secured wireless connection, but there are also a few unsecured networks in nearby units. A different friend is emailing me gigabytes of video files, and it's taking figuratively forever to download it all. Someone should pioneer a software system with which I can connect my computer to multiple wifi networks simultaneously. If there's a restriction on the hardware, that is a problem. Although, you could still probably build a little usb duder that would make it happen.


Full discretion - I am not checking to see if this already is a thing because I lied and ma not really in a condo. I am typing on my phone in the metro. But I did just leave my friend's condo.

BEST IDEA.

Let's start a business where people send us their dead pets and we turn their skin/fur into shoes.

Potentially un-PC terms I learned from my otherwise very sensitive mother.

Whore's Bath - washing down just your smelly bits instead of getting a full wash.
Old Maids - the unpopped kernals left over after making popcorn.

Electro-hinge, inc.

If you mounted little generators in the hinges of the doors of busy retail spaces (or libraries or anything) could you get enough power to make it worthwhile?

Band names.

I just found a bunch of band names (two with album names attached) I pitched to some folks I was writing music with in February of 2009:

Scam Artists (Scartists)
Dr. Thankenstein
Count Thankula
Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Thanks
Swamp Thank
Thankzilla
Tyrannosaurus Thanks
Thanks-a-Mouse
Franksgiving
the Batman Suicides - Lost in TransBatman
Batman Antoinette - Bed, Bath, and Batman
There Will Be Batman
The Batman Prophecies
the Truth About Cats and Batman
Grosse Point Batman
Tricerathanks
I Might Be a Trucker

Plans for the most appealing least functionally appropriate instrument.

Get a turntable, slightly broken or fully functional, whatever your price range. Swap out the motor with a stepper motor. Press a record with concentric circles instead of a spiral, and put different quality tones in each circle, but all just playing a440 at 33rpm. A sine track, a square track, maybe a stretched out dog bark track, whatever. Then you can, using arduino (or a basic stamp or whatever you prefer) create an input that will convert midi-inputted notes into the correct speed ratio to spin the turntable and produce any pitch you want. Like an optigan or a mellotron, but way cheaper (except the pressing vinyl part).

Alternately, for the lazy/adventurous, just put a variable resistor in place of the speed switch on the original motor. It could be a pot, or a capacitance thing (like a theremin), or some kind of string (like an ondes martenot). Whatever. That way you could get all portamento-y and wobbly and inconsistent.

This is all totally clear in my brain. If it doesn't make any sense out of my brain let me know. I'd hate to be confusing anyone.

ALSO, really the plan here is to just produce a bunch of copies of that piece of vinyl, and sell them along with maybe some plans on how folks can make the instrument themselves, and people will all go nuts with it.

Let's make MMA but for musicians.

They can battle like a DJ battle, but they can do any kind or combination of kinds of musics they want.

"Step into the optigan!"

Rejected Halloween Costumes.

Walrus vampire (the biggest teeth).
Spraypaint can with actual spraypaint in the nozzle.
Trojan horse (horsey face, and a velcro rip-open belly full of toy soldiers also cloth intestines).

For the business-minded.

Cyberdinette: kitchen furnishings for and inspired by killer robots from the future.

Musical artists who ain't afraid of no ghost (potentially incomplete).

Ray Parker, Jr.
Run-DMC
Doug E. Fresh
Kidz Bop
Alvin and the Chipmunks

I don't get twitter.

I tried to start a thing on twitter, because there are things that rush around on there. So I tried to make one. But I know like four people, and I tweet maybe once a month, so nobody reads anything I say. But I liked this. So I am moving it here, where still nobody will read it, but I will feel better about it. Here we go.

Double sequels:
Fear and Loathing in Little China
the Nutty Professional
Butch Cassidy and the Giant Peach
Field of Nightmares (on Elm Street)
Back to the Fargo
Mrs. Doubtfire and the Rats of NIMH
the Empire Strikes Beethoven
301 Dalmations
Joe Dirty Dancing

Bonus triple sequel:
the Truth About Aristocats and Reservoir Dogs

Pick any two.

Improve yourself physically.
Improve yourself mentally.
Improve yourself socially.
Maintain your lifestyle.
Make money.
Make art.
Sleep.

For all you fashion designers.

Let's convince a major upscale brand retailer to set up a whole lot of empty cases and mannequins in a section of the store. We can call it "the Emperor's New Collection" and tell everyone they can only see the things they're rich enough to buy.