Sorry about the uncharacteristically low idea-to-word ratio.

My laptop is hobbling. I mean, if it were a person. As a thing it's not hobbling at all. It's just not in good condition anymore. One USB port doesn't work, the battery doesn't hold a charge, the cd drive is intermittent at best (it hasn't burned a disc in years), and the screen is dead. It's hobbling.

I would like to be functional again. The minimum for that is a new screen, and I am looking at old macbook pros like mine but with fried brains for around 200 dollars, and thinking maybe I can steal their faces and be working. Maybe I can even steal their cd drives. But looking at them on ebay makes me also look at functional laptops which makes me also look at refurbished laptops on apple's website, which makes me want to spend 2000 dollars instead which is so many more dollars than I have (200 is also more dollars than I have for spending, but it seems necessary).

Here, though, is the super-great idea I just had for MAKING the best laptop EVER. If I had a little bit more time I would do this right now. In fact, maybe this will be my next computer regardless. And this is not about a hackintosh. Though I have considered that route. And also not about a PC, because it is necessary for my lifestyle that I be running around with final cut pro at my fingertips AT ALL TIMES.


HERE IT GOES:

First, get a refurb mac mini from apple. It's about a grand. Or, actually, I just looked and new ones start around 700 dollars (the care plan is only 150 dollars more, 200 less than for a macbook pro).

Great. Now get a cheap lcd monitor. I found a 19" one with the same resolution of my now-dead laptop screen for under $100. But you maybe want a slightly smaller one for weight purposes. There are a lot of options.

The mac mini does not come with a keyboard or mouse (that would ruin how incredibly tiny it is), so get any usb keyboard and either a mouse or if you want to be fancy, apple sells badass trackpads.

Now you run to goodwill and pick yourself up a smallish but stylish briefcase (I think you see where I am going with this) and INSTALL.

"But..." you are about to exclaim (I am just ahead of you, you see), "what about POWERS?" Oh, I'm on it.

First, a small power strip can be had for cheap. That's all you need if you are okay with being 110-bound (you would be surprised how few places you can drag a laptop don't have power to plug into), but don't limit yourself. A cheap inverter can be obtained for under twenty dollars, which will convert 12vdc into 110ac. That inverter can be pretty easily wired onto a li-on battery pack, and you can get that guy for about sixty dollars in a kit with a recharger.

POOF.

You now have more power and more free space and more speed and more USB ports than any macbook. For much cheaper. And customizibility. You can put a disc-burner in that briefcase. You can put in a little usb-splitter gidgie for more holes. You can put in whatever your brain can conceive and arms can carry. And it's exactly portable enough. Not too portable. That great fear of too much portability. You spraypaint a little apple logo on the top of your briefcase and you are the HIPPEST CAT IN JANKTOWN.

Now go make some dollars.

Here is your new business plan:
First you look into how insurance works for zipcar (there are some pretty intense legal and logistical hurdles in this plan), and then you set up a similar infrastructure, but only in pretty urban areas. Your fleet of cars however, will have credit card and cash slots in the front and back seats (like a self checkout at a grocery store), and will be set up like taxis. There will be a system in place wherein anyone who gets in to drive will electronically sign a contract and waivers before the car will start. Once they're going, the person driving will pay a small flat fee based on time in the vehicle, but it will be set up to take fares from the back seat, and subtract that from the fee, so if they get enough fares fast enough, they will turn a profit and the cab will print out a check.