I know this can't be done, because it's been done from all angles already.

I was just wandering around this evening, my mind doing the same, when I stumbled into fantasy territory that would best be described as a meeting of Shaolin Soccer and dodgeball. I mean, it started as a life-fantasy, but then I had a fleeting moment of "it should be a movie", when clearly it can't.

It could have that beautiful moment, though, when the main protagonist finally busts out his chi for the first time and he's about to lose and he's totally freaking out and then he puts on his big determined angry face and all the balls float up off the floor and hover around him before he starts sending them careening across the court.